Description from bookdepository.co.uk
When you like, live forever, what's there to live for? 'About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him - which I assumed was wildly out of his control - that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me'. And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in this hilarious send-up of "Twilight". Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events - Edwart leaves his hash browns untouched at lunch! - he saves her from a flying snowball and Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behaviour, and a vampire prom, "Nightlight" is the hysterical tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.
I had to buy this book the moment I saw it - what could be more hilarious, right? It's an easy read; it took me two hours max (and I'm a slow reader!) but I think it fell short of its goal slightly. The writing was pretty poor - though I'm still trying to figure out if that was on purpose, in mocking of the criticism of Meyer's prose. And half the plot made no sense whatsoever; it was impossible to tell if it was supposed to be mocking Twilight or just being smart-alecky. Overall, it was funny, but not laugh out loud, enjoyable but not about to change the world. Not a bad way to start the year but I hardly expect it to be a stand out on my round up!
1 / 50 books. 2% done!
154 / 15000 pages. 1% done!
Book 2: A Stroke of Midnight by Laurell K. Hamilton – 366 pages
Description from bookdepository.co.uk:
I am Meredith Gentry, PI and Princess Merry, heir to the throne of Fairie. I have departed the safe haven of Los Angeles to face the peril and deception of my first home, the Unseelie court. There, my enemies are many, and my guards may not be able to protect me from the treachery of the unseen foes that will stop at nothing to keep me from the throne. As for my quest to produce an heir and thereby save myself and all that is faerie from utter destruction - well, I am still trying. As pregnancy becomes ever more urgent, I must leave the protected beds of the Queen's Ravens and lie with other men, men whose designs and allegiances remain in question. And a night of delirious passion will transport me and my new lovers to another place, the mysterious dead gardens - an event that portends great unrest in the forces of magic. In order to save myself and those I love, I must walk into the very mouth of danger, and visit the Goblins in their lair - as well as the cunning King Taranis himself, who has an astonishing proposal for me. For I alone hold the power to rescue the universe, even if it requires aligning with my greatest and most dangerous of adversaries. But I'm running out of time...
I am starting to appreciate the decline in this series that everyone talks about. I think Merry managed to have sex with ten different men in the duration of the 24 hours that this book is set over. The book’s not even 400 pages long – its quite a feat to cover that many sexual encounters in such a short amount of text. And if it gets any more repetitive, description-wise, I’ll shoot myself. And yet, I still ‘like’ it, for some strange reason. I think it’s the men – the four main ones, Doyle, Frost, Rhys and Galen for the most part, the others don’t do a huge amount for me – that keep me interested. I like them, and I feel sorry for them, and I want them all to be happy even if that looks to be an impossible situation. I do have to say that, except for when she wasn’t disembowelling people, I liked Andais more in this one. Like Caress of Twilight, she seemed more ‘human’ in this one. I don’t know…I’m getting less ‘Oh my God, what happens next’ with each book, but I’ll keep reading just for curiosity’s sake!
2 / 50 books. 4% done!
520 / 15000 pages. 3% done!
Book 3: The Second Chronicles of Thomas Covenant: Volume 2: The One Tree by Stephen Donaldson – 472 pages
Description from Amazon:
Thomas Covenant and Linden Avery begin their search for the One Tree that is to be the salvation of the Land. Only he could find the answer and forge a new Staff of Law--but fate decreed that the journey was to be long, the quest arduous, and quite possibly a failure....
Man, I was so disappointed in this book after how much I enjoyed the first volume in this second trilogy. Covenant was so whiny and annoying in the first trilogy and I was so pleased when the introduction of Linden in book 1 of trilogy 2 meant that Covenant actually had to start thinking about someone besides himself, meaning, by extension, that he became less whiny and annoying. But then the whole thing was totally ruined in this book because Linden takes over much of the narration and in doing so decides to go through her own whiny, annoying, ‘Oh my God, I can’t possibly do these things cause they may be evil’ phase. Ah! So annoying! It took me ages to get into this book, and given Donaldson’s style (ie. Lots of words that I don’t know the meaning of) just reading a chapter takes, like, an hour. I read it in between reading the first two books for the year, before finally making myself focus on finishing it in the last two weeks. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it because when Linden and Covenant are both ‘narrating’ (sort of) its really good – they bounce off each other very well – and I did really enjoy the change in their relationship. However, I think it really would have benefitted as a story if it had spared the reader half of Linden’s internal torture crap. Oh well, what can you do?
3 / 50 books. 6% done!
992 / 15000 pages. 7% done!
- From Modernism to Postmodernism: An Anthology edited by Lawrence Cahoone – 600 pages
- Next by Michael Crichton – 540 pages
- The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory – 486 pages
- Temping Fate by Esther Friesner – 279 pages
And coming up:
- Angels and Demons by Dan Brown – 620 pages
- The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls – 341 pages
- Mistral’s Kiss by Laurell K. Hamilton – 302 pages
I am now 496 pages through the Modernism anthology. I am trying to read a page every night (at least week nights, this doesn't always work on Fridays and Saturdays!), with the aim to finish it by June. I also now have all but one of the Merry Gentry books, so hopefully I can get through them as quickly as possible in order to tick that off my list of goals for this year. However, I’ve had to fiddle with a few of my reading plans after getting part way through Temping Fate and realizing that part of the book has been printed wrong and I’ve now got to get a replacement copy from my book website. As my book website has a 30-day money back policy, I’ve decided to try and read all the books I’ve bought off the website as soon as possible to ensure that if I do find some issues with them, I can get a replacement copy before they get a bit funny because I bought them six months ago! This has messed up a bit of my reading plans, but no biggy.
I have also decided to quantify my goals in regards to things like ‘read more classics’ and ‘read more non-fiction’ – two goals I give myself every year but never ‘achieve’. So, I’ve quantified these goals to be ‘read 3 classics’ and ‘read 3 non-fiction’. The non-fiction will definitely be achievable; the classics one I’m not so sure. Either way, it’s always good to have a goal!